Well its started. The anxiety levels have risen, the seizures and the tics are back. In just over three weeks, the boys will be back in school.
Yesterday, my oldest told my husband that he had a really big seizure. He had not had a seizure all summer. When asked why and what he was thinking about, he said he was thinking about personal things. We try to elicit from him what the problem was, but he doesn’t even seem to be able to verbalize it right now. Maybe later, maybe at night, maybe through his therapist whom he hasn’t seen for a few weeks because of a vacation conflict. We know he is worried about a new school year. He is worried about picking a major. He is worried about getting all his work done, and he is worried about taking the acting class we signed him up for.The acting class is suppose to provide him with socialization tools. I told him to try and see if he can do it. If it does become too much, I will let him drop it. I reminded him that he does like to talk in front of people and he may actually like to play act. Hopefully the new assistant I hired for him, will help talk him through it. He also started pulling his hair again.
Thursday I heard the younger one’s tic. We had just left the ACT tutor and I heard the hiccup-like tic eminating from the back of my car. I asked him if he was worried about something. He told me no. I asked if he had been ticing for awhile. He said no. I did not hear the tic yesterday, when he was home, reading his books, playing his video games, interacting with our barbecue company. I defintiely think the tic is related to the ACT course, and probably the knowledge that school will start soon. Interestingly he doesn’t seem to mind reading his novel so it is not a reading comprehension-pressure issue. He is reading the Ender Series, by Orson Scott Card. He generally has always liked books with young male protagonists except science fiction, He generally gets really annoyed at the "unrealistic avenues" taken by futurists so his affinity for this science fiction series really surprised. However, he still really does hate Star Wars. I wonder if he will get kicked out of the Aspie Fraternity for that one. No Star Wars, such blasphemy!
So what do we do now?Get them to talk to the therapist. Make them feel assured that it will be ok. Remind them that they will not have as much work as last year. Provide a safe haven for them to come and collapse if they need to. We talk to their aides and the school to make sure they are watched and properly supported. Then we send them off into the world that causes them such trauma and know that they have to learn at some point how to deal with the world around them.
I just wonder when that is going to happen? When does the ticing stop? When do the seizures end? When do they get to catch a break? When do they get to enjoy their education? Don’t get me wrong I know just how lucky they are, how functional and brilliant they are. I just wish some basic life skills were a little easier for them, that’s all. I guess that simply makes me a parent.
Until next time,